Promotion, Entitlement or Just Plain Theft?

As a musician, I get asked on a daily basis to play somewhere for “exposure” or “promotion.” Whether it is for a charity event, showcase, or grand opening of a location, I have to communicate to the person asking that this is MY CAREER. This is how I pay my bills (mortgage, electricity, insurance, etc.). This is how the musicians that work with me pay their bills. We have studied our entire lives to get to this level, with many years of college, training and experience. We don’t have other “day jobs” as people like to call it. We are not hobby musicians. We are PROFESSIONAL musicians and this is our career. We know that our service and performance is an actual commodity because people do pay for us to do it. It is an actual product. Just like with any “job,” one is trading their time and talent for a paycheck. A musician’s performance is his/her time and their talent, and s/he should receive a paycheck. Our performance IS our product, and just because there is usually no tangible “take away” for the guests at the end of our service does NOT mean that we do it for free. The reason for our service is to provide much more than background music. We are there to create a mood, a feeling, and an engagement of your audience. Live musicians add so much more to any occasion as there is a physical and emotional exchange.

However, with more and more people feeling entitled to getting the best product or service for the cheapest price, I was alarmed when I saw a fellow wedding vendor posted about an inquiry she received for a wedding cake fewer than thirty days in advance, and some of the comments and replies:

Original post on Facebook on August 2, 2014 – republished with permission from Anna Hightower, owner and founder of “Anna Cakes”

Anna Cakes: Is this a joke? Lady is asking me for a free wedding cake in exchange for this…

Social Media Outreach:

Of the 170 guests attending, 120 have social media, all of which have a minimum of 200 Facebook friends. The statistical outreach from Facebook alone is intended to reach 24,000 individuals. Considering guests additional social media outlets, including: Twitter and Instagram, the potential outreach of sponsorship logos via images shared is 48,000 individuals.

Sponsorship Marketing:

Each guest will receive a wedding program, this will include the wedding itinerary and sponsors’ logos.

Immediately after the outdoor ceremony, guest will be prompted to take pictures in our “PhotoBooth Station”. This creatively decorated station will automatically take pictures of the guests. All of the guests will be given cards with the URL, of where the images will be available to download. All the images will be placed in a template, the header boarder will read “#(name withheld) Wedding‬”, and the footer boarder will list wedding sponsors’ logos.

A few replies/comments:

(name withheld): Glad it’s not just photographers that get asked to give away their work for exposure. I told my bank if they eliminated my mortgage I would tweet it out to all my friends – they suggested I use the hashtag ‪#homeless, ‪#paymenexttime

(name withheld): Sounds like a NASCAR wedding. Will your logo be on the wedding dress?

My reply: Is she also asking guests to pay a door entry fee? Maybe you can negotiate for a take of the door or have a tip jar. Or maybe she can invite cake makers to bring samples of their work for guests to enjoy – like an open mic night. This is how clubs and restaurants treat musicians all the time. Based on her post, I’d say she owns a restaurant and is used to treating vendors like this.

Anna Cakes continues the story: My name is (bride), I am both the Bride and wedding planner. I am so joyous to be planning this special day for us and all our love ones! I am very passionate about every detail of the wedding. I believe it is the little things placed creativity throughout a wedding, that make it both unforgettable and beautiful. I hired (name withheld), owner of (namewithheld).com, as a “day of” wedding planner. She will manage coordination for the rehearsal dinner, and the day of the wedding. Four years ago I was attending college for Fashion Design, but expectedly became pregnant with our son. I had always dreamed of designing glamorous wedding gowns, but was able to due to circumstances. When we moved to Los Angeles I began producing fashion events and runway shows, which feature designers and various brands. Instead of buying a wedding gown, I fulfilled my life long dream and designed one. I sketched my wedding dress and sewed it with the assistance of an amazing teacher, a Los Angeles based freelance designer. In essence my wedding day, is the day I get to produce my own runway show and have my design featured down the aisle. It really is a dream come true.


“MR. MRS. (name withheld)” MEDIA KIT

Wedding Date: 08/31/2014

Location: Clermont Florida

Setting: Outdoor “Secret Garden Ceremony” / Inside a 40 x 80 Air Conditioned Tent

Total Guests: 170


97% Hispanic. 150 Adults: 21-80, 13 Teenagers: 13-18, 7 Children: 2-10

Bridal Party:  1 Maid of Honor / Age:26, 1 Matron of Honor / Age: 36, 5 Bridesmaids/ Ages: 15-34, 1 Best Man / Age: 21, 5 Groomsmen / Ages: 28-37

An Irreplaceable Love

Once upon a time in a land far away, (groom) and (bride) were introduced to each other by a mutual friend at a nighttime soiree. They danced the night away until it was time to part. Little did they know that that first encounter would lead them to Los Angeles, the birth of their beautiful baby boy, and now the planning of a gorgeous wedding celebration. Their love story was not always so sweet, but when times became bitter they overcame them with the love of Jesus Christ. They live dedicated to demonstrating the power of true love. Together they work on building an empire as the universe awaits to see.

More comments:

(name withheld): Andddd they recommend a campground for lodging? And are asking for donations for a Tahitian honeymoon? Where is the pride??? Why do people feel entitled to free things?

(name withheld): Did you see on their site you can donate money for their dream honeymoon in Tahiti…..along with making their free wedding cake. Narcissistic freeloaders! Tired of people asking for free stuff and handouts all the time.

(name withheld): The ego is strong with this one.

(name withheld): We get this all the time, we turn it round and say we will charge for the cake but when we see the Social Media working and its making us money we will give them a Voucher to spend on another cake within a year. We never state how much the voucher will be for.

(name withheld): I had a guy come to me a few years ago to photograph his wedding. He told me he has 12 friends getting married in the next year and he will get all of them to hire me if I give him a huge discount, like half off. I told him, how about you pay in full… and I will send you a check for $500 for each of your friends that hires me. Essentially, if they all do, I will be paying YOU to shoot your wedding. Funny, he didn’t go for it.

It amazes me that people seem to think that we as vendors are always looking for the spotlight, and always needing a venue or an event to display our talents. While this may work for some artists, it does not pay my bills.

Now, don’t get me wrong – I give away my time and talents frequently, so frequently that I have received the President’s Volunteer Service Award from the President of the United States. I volunteer for many non-profit and charitable organizations, as well as donate real money, but those opportunities are MY CHOICE. For example, it really is excellent exposure and publicity when I play for a bridal show. They get live talent to help bring and entertain potential brides, while I get face-to-face time with potential clients who will hire and pay me for my services. Another example is meeting planner conventions. I am performing in front of the very people who will recommend me over and over again to their clients who will potentially hire me and my ensembles. Again, this is MY CHOICE. The key difference? I still PAY the musicians who perform with me out of my own pocket! I am paying them for their service. For me, it is a way to showcase my ensembles to the potential clients who will hopefully hire us for future work. But, I do not think my fellow musicians should be required to do it for free every time, too. Yes, there are times that I ask musicians to donate when it is related to charity event, but they are not obligated to do it. They have the right to refuse. As I explain to potential charity clients, I can choose to donate my time, but I cannot ask my fellow musicians to always donate theirs. Just because you are a charity or non-profit does not mean you cannot make a profit.

There are hard expenses in every business, and my work is no exception. Every year, I have to pay for licensing, CGL insurance, accountants, attorneys, taxes, advertising, website, instruments, new equipment, maintenance costs, agent and publicist fees, professional association fees (to even get the work), gas, vehicle and maintenance costs, sheet music, licensing fees when we play cover songs, computers, software, office supplies, phone service and internet access (most clients use e-mail or phone to book you), self-employment taxes, health and workman’s comp insurance (did I mention all the types of insurance I am required to carry?), rehearsal space, union dues, batteries (we go through 28 AA batteries EVERY show), strings, performance clothes, technicians to run and maintain the equipment, dry cleaning (for performance clothes), stage makeup, hair and personal upkeep expenses (we are expected to look professional, and that costs money and time), and many other things too numerous to list. As much as I would love to barter my services for most of these items, the reality is that I would be laughed out into the street if I tried to pay the IRS this way. My mortgage company only cares about cash.

With any “job,” one is trading their time and talents for money. With that money, one pays for housing and other living expenses. If there is extra money, then one can add some extras in life, including giving back to the community. Whether their gifts are of money or their time, it is their choice and should not be expected. One should always expect to pay for anytime they are asking someone to do something for them when it is their career and livelihood. One cannot assume that a performer only desires the spotlight so much so that s/he is willing to do it gratis. This has always been an issue in the performing arts, but it disheartens me to see the spread of this entitlement mentality across other professions, too.

In short summary, you have to make the decision and set guidelines for yourself.  If the event is really a right-fit for promotional opportunities, then you should consider it. Weigh the benefits against your hard costs. Also, keep in mind if you actually want to work with this client; those who request so much for free are usually the most difficult with whom to work.  If it’s one where the client thinks they should get something for nothing beneficial to you in return (especially no guarantee for future work), then it really is just plain theft.