In the past, people have been separated into classes based on a number of factors:  education, money, titles, land ownership, ethnic background, and gender, among many other reasons.  In the USA, there are now legal protections to allow all people to aspire to be whatever they dedicate themselves to become without legal discrimination.  I didn’t say there was no longer discrimination in our beautiful country; I only said people cannot legally discriminate for employment and such that is protected under the laws and constitution.

But discrimination definitely exists.  I am seeing a trend that is creating a new separation in our society that has never existed before.  It is the lack of interpersonal communication between humans. Those who have practiced and learned proper manners, communication skills, and how to interact with all people will be THE LEADERS and likely the most successful people in our society. They will have advantages over people who don’t learn these skills.  Yes, they are learned, not just automatic from birth.

Examples of avoiding having to deal with people:  

• Amazon and doorstep delivery services – anyone can order most anything and have it left on their doorstep, never having to even see another human.  
• Texting and email – everything is quick and short; emojis replace actual faces and smiles and other non-verbal communication.  Email loses the value of handwriting and how to “read between the lines” based on the flow of the pen and space of the letters. Phone calls?  So many people WILL NOT even answer their phone because they don’t want to talk to anyone at all.  
• Self-checkout – yet another way to avoid dealing with someone.
• “Social Media” is another term for how to hide behind the internet to say anything you want without any personal repercussions of someone knowing who you are and how you just made them feel.
• Watching movies at home instead of going to a theater where attendees needs to understand respect for others and the manners of being around others.
• Ordering in meals at home or in drive through instead of learning how to dine at a restaurant and interact with people as well as understand how to properly treat people who are serving you with kindness and respect.  Even the “mobile apps” allow you to avoid having to speak to anyone at all as you can have it brought to your car or you can go pick it up like a ninja secretly stealing a cup of coffee.
• Digital payments through a device or chip instead of having to actually sign for anything (avoiding yet another step in communication).

This false sense of “security and protection” has given people a fear of going out of the house unless absolutely necessary.  How many people work from home and literally never have to leave their houses unless they choose to do so?  They order in groceries, supplies, everything they need.  If it weren’t for doctor’s offices or dentist offices, some people would never get out of the house.  But this generation does not realize what it is losing.  Not only are you losing the ability to interact with others, you are losing your humanity.  The ability to interact with, create art with, talk with, and just “be with” others is what makes us human.  Animals communicate with each other.  If we as humans stop communicating, what will happen to us?

I mentioned that this is a new class separation.  Those who understand how to read people and act/react with others is what will allow those people to be successful.  The ones who don’t learn to do this will become the “worker bees” for others, even though they may be thinking they are independent.  No one is autonomous; each successful person understands that they need others to work with and sometimes for them.  They also know that they are always working for someone, too – their customers and clients.  The ones who understand how to communicate with a variety of people will be the most successful. Knowing how to properly shake hands, make eye contact, carry on a conversation – this is how people learn to trust you and want to work with you.  You have to make an effort!  You have to be open to them, too.  It is a balance, and trying to learn how to do it effectively takes practice and patience.  And yes, it should be taught at home and in schools as children adapt into today’s society.

How many young adults today were handed a phone/video game/iPad – whatever screen device – instead of learning how to climb a tree or play a game with others?  How many children do you see today glued to a screen because it “keeps them quiet and entertained so mommy and daddy can ignore them”?  These same children grow up not learning how to behave in social situations.  They don’t know how to sit still without having a screen device. They don’t even know how to dress for an event, let alone have table manners when at a business function.  The young adults today do not understand the value of reading body language and voice inflections.  Why should they when a text or emoji will suffice?  And yet, they are the first offended when someone says something “mean” to them because they don’t understand the difference between irony and sarcasm and someone giving them clear orders or directions.  

Basically, it’s also a lack or respect for others.  A smile goes a long way and is a universal symbol in every language.  Especially if you are interacting with someone from another culture or country, the smile can mean everything.  You may not know the proper etiquette for every situation, but people tend to be understanding and forgiving as long as you are friendly.  When communicating on social media, the emoji can help, but the words can still be completely misinterpreted.  In person, you can generally gauge reactions and respond accordingly.  

Learning manners is not a way of being better than someone or “uppity.” It’s about learning to respect others and showing them that you respect them.  By not shouting in a theater, or playing with your food at a meal, you are showing those with you that you respect them.  By learning how to actually speak with others and introduce people, you are learning good business skills that are used around the world.  By learning how and when to write a thank you note, you are showing respect to your host.  By eating at a restaurant and learning the proper amount to tip and how to treat your wait staff, you are learning a very valuable skill in how to work with others and how to reward and compensate them.  By working for others, you learn how to deal with every type of person, and how to be a professional when in a sticky situation.  We learn how to problem solve as humans, not just as robots.  

This ability to communicate effectively and politely with everyone is what will separate the leaders from the followers.  This will create a further separation of the classes as the followers’ wages and earnings stagnate while the leaders’ monetary potential grows.  Those with the good manners and communication skills foster personal relationships with other humans, thus creating a type of “influencer status.”  Followers like to follow influencers and be on trend.  Of course, this also means that the leaders understand how followers learn and how to communicate effectively with them. It’s a balance, and adapting is tricky.  The leaders are the ones who learn to quickly adapt to every situation.  

So what are you?  A leader or a follower?  Which do you want to become?  If you want to be a leader, then you need to start interacting more with people in live, face-to-face situations.  It takes practice, and this is something you cannot do on the internet from your comfort of your home.  You have to be there.  Observe.  Be present without distractions (especially your phone). Be wholly there.